A Life Unlived
by Devil666sc
Summary: Dee loses someone dear to his heart. Face to face with the grave years later what will he do? What will he say? Will he be ok? UPDATED:: i fixed things :) ::::Warning death::::


Summery: Dee loses someone dear to his heart. Face to face with the grave years later what will he do? What will he say? Will he be ok? ::::Warning death::::  
  
Disclaimer: Though I looked and looked and traveled the world 3 time I couldn't find the shop that carried them so I don't own 'em.  
  
Authors note: If you don't get it read the notes at the end these will help explain things.  
  
//\\= reading off of paper  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
____________________  
  
Slowly his journey neared its end. Once again he stood in the place he hated most, but often visited. The hollow ground and smell of death filled his senses. 'Why do I always run here when me and him are having trouble? I run to my first true love. If there is only such a thing. I lost two people in that same year. So close together, too. The ones that helped me live, that were there for me. I was so young… carefree, even with the pain that has always haunted my life.'   
  
"Dee, hun, you ok? I'm sorry, want me to come over there? I know I hurt you but it hurts you even more to visit him… even if it happen so long ago. Move on with your life and forget about—" The dark haired blonde was cut short before he said a word taboo to the man a few yards away."  
  
"I'm fine. I'll meet you back at the apartment. Go there, and I'll see you and Bikky then."  
  
"Ok hun, I'll meet you there." An engine started, and the man left the cemetery without a second thought or concern in his mind.  
  
Sighing, he looked at the materials in his hands. Freshly bloomed flowers that shined with stunning arrays of colors and in the other… extra large bottle of vodka carefully placed in a bag littered with other useful things for this dreary day; thou the sun shone high. It was a bad day; no one seemed to understand. The inevitable was it was going to be a worse night; the vodka was to cause it, thou that wouldn't start until later.  
  
Now a hundred feet away from the road and becoming nearer with each step. Twisting through the rows of head stones… death plots. Stopping dead in his tracks, the man looked at the stone in front. A sad sigh was heard; tears began to flow acknowledged, not that it hadn't happen numerous times before. Tears were the only emotion he knew. Tears showed pain, that's all he wanted to feel. Dropping to his knees, he opened the freshly bought liquor, taking a long swallow, feeling it burn his sore throat, thou he didn't seem to care. Why should he? Not like anyone else cared.  
  
"Damn I missed you. Why did God have to do that? Why did he have to take you? I should have said something; I could have done something. But no, he had to leave you to lay in a pool of your own blood and me be informed by a friend while I was shopping. Damn it," he drown himself with another guzzle of alcohol, tears mixing with the liquid.  
  
Walking on his knees, he traced the name as he felt himself shake. "No one knew how we felt. Both of us embarrassed. Life was easy; only problem was you being hounded by that damn bastard. God, how do I hate him even so many years later. But seeing that police tape, the blood… them trying to keep me and the other two away… I was strong, but when I got home… I cried and didn't stop. Then all that crap in the paper. It was all lies, and I was the only one that knew the truth. Penguin tried to help but it did nothing. She was the only one that knew about us." After placing his hand on the headstone and another swig, he went silent. He cried inside and out, drained from keeping it to himself and crying out loud to the person that lay quiet in front of him every visit.  
  
Finally allowing himself to lay back the tears stopped, seemly as if there were none left to cry, "We were together, but I never told you how I felt. I've been thinking about it too. Yea I know I'm with 'him'…" He expressed the last word with anger and amusement. "'He' never could live up to you. Even if our time was cut short, you will always have my heart."   
  
He sat grabbing the wholesome, white roses, starring at them, hoping that they held the solution to his feelings. The minutes passed, then an hour and still he had not moved. Setting the flowers back where they lay before taking another knock back of vodka, although he had by now finished a 5th of the vodka. His nerves needed to be calmed for what he was to do and the intoxicating liquid did its job.   
  
Playing with the flowers, he slowly spelled out four simple words. Next he withdrew a beach umbrella, setting it to cover the gravestone and himself, placing them in a shelter away from the world and the sun. It was only them, and they were safe… Two pieces of paper where gently placed on the ground, pinned with nails so not to move. The last thing to be needed was the gun that lay in its holster. Withdrawing the gun he gripped it hard causing his knuckles to convert into white.   
  
"I love you. I said it! I know you feel the same way! I'll be with you one way or another! Life is not lived without you! I want you! Nothing is the same! I don't love the man I'm with! How could I when you hold the only key to my heart? Everyone will understand. Hopefully, anyway. But I love you, and I'll be with you."  
  
The echo of a single gunshot was heard throughout the soundless, hollowed field. The man aimed for a quick death, hitting the place that killed him the most; his heart. He had been planning for months, just waiting for the right time, if there is ever a right time to kill yourself. He had to be with the one he loved.  
  
The blood pooled around his motionless body as the wind blew, moving the edges of the papers, one being a will, the other a note. The will was quick and easy; //I leave all my money to the only person who I had that loved me and truly cared; Bikky Goldman. Everything is left to Bikky, who is to decide who gets what. I don't care. The sum of money is low but with my death I have money from working that should be given to Bikky.  
  
Dee Laytner\\  
  
It was real, lawyer's signature and the stamp to prove it, dated yesterday. The other paper said words of hatred and sadness.   
  
//Dear everyone,  
  
True you thought I was fine but we can all act. My life was not what it seemed. The one I was with didn't care. The man I called my boyfriend was nothing but a man I found comfort in and lusted for. Bikky was what kept me sane even at the age of 19. He keep me sane after all my losses. I do truly love him, and forever he'll be my son. Even if I didn't help create him, he is my son that I love.  
  
Drake was a friend that I had but found to be nothing more after 'the incident.' The moment that caused pain and ended friendships but was never spoken out loud since it was such taboo.   
  
JJ, I know you loved me, and I never had anything but anger to you, but now I understand what it feels like to love someone and never have it. I'm sorry if it seems you wasted your time on me.   
  
Mother, Penguin, you were my life when I was younger and at the orphanages. You could always help me, but this time neither you nor God could. My mind was set and what is done is done.   
  
You are the only people that I have anything to say to. I must say sorry that I had to end it like this, but I couldn't live anymore. I couldn't face the world with a fake smile and try to convince myself that I'm fine and today is a new day. I'm sorry, but please forgive me. I did what I had to do. I had to be with the man that had my heart with one look in his eyes. Eyes that didn't shine but sparkled with life. The man I loved was none other that the one you knew, but dared never speak about. No one knew my love of him, no one but Bikky. The day he was killed, murdered in cold blood, I was killed too. I had no one to come home to. My life was taken with his. True love is a once in a lifetime thing, and I was yet to truly have all of it. My life ended with his, so today I die for him. To be with him.//  
  
The wind blew ever so slightly as red blooded mixed with flowers, staining the untainted white roses crimson. As we drift away the words become clear… words that spoke his last emotion where he died with a smile on his face and hole in his heart.   
  
I love you Ryo  
  
Fin.  
  
____________________  
  
Ok please don't kill me I know it is sad but I had you going didn't I? You thought I was taking about Aaron right? Haha fooled you. Sorry I had to be so mean to Dee but my muse was mean today. Please review I wanna know what you think. I'm open to comments and you can flame me if it makes you feel better. I sorry I was mean to Dee and Ryo. I really do love them thou.  
  
For all you that are like my friend and didn't understand the story I will explain.   
  
Ryo was murder. Since Dee and Ryo were together Dee began legal guardian of Bikky. The man talking with Dee at the began was a boyfriend. Nothing special. I wrote the story hoping to make you think I was talking about Ahron not Ryo. Everything was played out for you to remember Ahron's death. The other before who died that year was just some random before… let's say James. And 'the incident' I was taking about was Ryo's death. Now sine you understand the story what do you think? Reply and tell me. Like I said before feel free to flame me if it makes you feel better. 


End file.
